(Copy from a video advertising campaign for Cellar Door Coffee Roasters.)

IS THERE A UNICORN IN MY COFFEE?

It’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another. The Food and Drug Administration has yet to set any limits at all on unicorn or unicorn-related byproduct* levels in coffee. In fact, the FDA has failed to acknowledge the very existence of unicorns.

So you have to ask yourself, is that coffee you’re drinking five percent unicorn? Ten percent? One hundred percent unicorn?

We at Cellar Door Coffee Roasters believe that the only self-righteous percentage of unicorn in coffee is zero percent. In fact, we unconditionally guarantee that not a single unicorn has been bewitched, enchanted, de-rainbowed, excessively petted, or run through an industrial grade food processor to make our Certified Unicorn-Free™ coffee.

Does your coffee roaster offer that kind of guarantee? Has your coffee roaster even thought to offer that kind of guarantee?

Cellar Door Certified Unicorn-Free™ coffee. Not just ethical—mythical.

 

*Unicorn-related byproducts include rainbows, double rainbows, glitter, and Ethyl ({2-[bis(propan-2-yl)amino]ethyl}sulfanyl)(methyl)phosphinate.

 

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Video Credits:
“Cellar Door Coffee presents Certified Unicorn-Free Coffee”
Production Company: Rain & Coffee
Creative Director/Writer: Jonathan Selwood
Director: Kelly Kendziorski